


It's not loneliness

by static_abyss



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Crushes, Getting Together, Growing Up, M/M, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Not Epilogue Compliant, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:28:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24549151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/static_abyss/pseuds/static_abyss
Summary: Five times Ron Weasley and Viktor Krum weren't a couple and one time they were. A story of two people trying to find themselves.
Relationships: Viktor Krum/Ron Weasley
Comments: 15
Kudos: 128
Collections: Rare Pair Shorts - Summer Wishlist Event 2020





	It's not loneliness

**Author's Note:**

> For the [Rare Pair Shorts](https://rarepair-shorts.livejournal.com/) at livejournal. This is a piece for [darkhairedgirl](https://darkhairedgirl.livejournal.com) who had some wonderful prompts. It is in part inspired by [this](https://41.media.tumblr.com/68a57e9228b19ab34111518b4830609d/tumblr_mia70ei8rt1rmfz7ro1_500.jpg) piece. 
> 
> For anyone who is interested, information about the fest and wish granting can be found [here](https://rarepair-shorts.livejournal.com/680834.html#cutid1).

**v. indisputable facts**

In their fourth year at Hogwarts, Ron's in love with Hermione and Hermione's in love with Viktor Krum. Both of these things are indisputable facts.

But the Yule Ball happens and Ron can't keep his eyes away from Hermione and Viktor Krum in the midst of all the other people. They look lovely together, Krum's dark hair and his handsome face alight with laughter as he watches Hermione dance. She's beautiful in her periwinkle dress robes, every bit of her alive with the attention Viktor's paying her. 

It's mesmerizing, the way the two of them fit together, dark heads bent close to each other. Viktor dances with a severe grace, movements planned and executed to perfection. He's coiled power and Ron can picture him on a broom, the air of concentrated focus is the same there as it is at the Yule Ball.

There's something upsetting about watching Hermione and Viktor Krum together, something inevitable that makes bile rise in Ron's throat. He can't stand watching them, can't stand to look away. It's humiliating, even more so when Padma finally gets tired and leaves him for some Beauxbatons boys. 

Ron doesn't blame her. He's tired of himself too and it surprises him that Harry is still by his side, still nudging Ron's shoulder whenever Ron lets out a sigh. 

"What's wrong?" Harry asks.

He's miserable too, Ron knows. Because of Cho and Cedric, because things are complicated and messy and they're embarrassing fourteen-year-olds. Ron hates being fourteen, hates the way his limbs don't quite listen to him. He's tall and gangly and ginger, with freckles and an almost too-sharp nose. 

"This stinks," he says, looking back out to where Viktor's twirling Hermione.

"Yeah," Harry answers. "I hate dancing."

Ron doesn't hate dancing. He likes the way Viktor moves, the muscles on his arms, his neat facial hair, and thick eyebrows. He likes the way Viktor's so focused on Hermione, attentive. Ron watches them, lets his eyes roam, finds himself returning over and over to the slope of Viktor's shoulders. 

Only because it's new, this fascination with Viktor, with boys. Only because he can't decide what it means yet.

**iv. left behind**

It's not that Viktor is ungraceful when he's on the ground. It's that being on a broomstick is second nature to him, so ingrained that when he's on land, he needs an adjustment phase. Ron Weasley is like that in a way, unused to the nuances of his body, to the way he's meant to work his arms and his height. He's already almost as tall as Viktor is and in a few more years, he might be well above him.

It's hard not to picture Ron Weasley with Hermione Granger. She's intelligent with a beautiful mass of dark curls and dark brown eyes. It makes sense that Ron Weasley's eyes follow her around, that Viktor notices because he's been watching Ron Weasley too. 

Hermione Granger has better things to do in life, important work that doesn't include Viktor at the end of the day. But they're seventeen and fourteen, and she's the first person who Viktor trusts with his secrets. He tells her about his parents, about the undercurrent of hatred that's lived in his family's bones for generations. He doesn't want to be like them.

"It's why I play Quidditch," he confesses after the Second Task. "To get away from my parents and the school."

Hermione shivers next to him, a thick wool blanket over her shoulders as she holds his hand. 

"It's almost over," she says.

Viktor looks out at the lake, at the ripples breaking out over the surface. When Ron Weasley and Fleur's little sister float to the top, Hermione stands.

"I'll be right back," she says, dashing off towards where people are already helping Ron.

Viktor watches Ron shake out his limbs, water dripping down his hair. He sees Fleur throw her arms around him, watches the dazed way Ron Weasley walks over to the medical tent. Hermione and Harry Potter join him, the three of them huddled close. There's an intimacy to their gathering that Viktor is jealous of in a visceral way, something so sudden it's almost painful.

He hears Hermione saying, "it's almost over," and he thinks that it might be more true than it's ever been before.

**iii. nighttime loneliness**

Fleur's wedding turns out to be lively and fun, full of laughing Weasley's and beautiful Veela cousins. Ron watches Hermione get pulled into dancing with Ginny and Luna, laughs when Hermione throws him a helpless look as Luna starts twirling. Harry's off with some of the other guests and Ron, in his best dress robes, hangs at the periphery.

He's used to the silence he inspires. Ron's gotten used to being by himself when everyone is busy. Ginny has Luna and Hermione. Fred and George have each other, Percy has his career, and Bill and Charlie are closer in age with each other than either of them is with Ron. It's just the way it is in their home.

It's a calm night, the stars above drowned out by the fairy lights strung along the yard. There's so much commotion, so much laughter and life that Ron can feel it in the center of his chest. He's not lonely necessarily. He's just feeling melancholy with the memories of old days, when he sat by himself as his mother rocked Ginny to sleep. It's just the way things are, wounds that pulse but don't hurt anymore.

He's a different man now.

He doesn't want someone to notice him per se. He just wants some acknowledgement that he hasn't become invisible in the constant motion of his friends' and family's lives. That he matters, even though, logically, he knows he must.

"Hello," comes a familiar voice from Ron's left.

"Krum," Ron says, turning just enough to catch sight of Viktor Krum.

He's as handsome as always, just about Ron's height. Something in Ron's chest swells with emotion at that fact, to know that he and Viktor Krum have that bit in common.

"Call me Viktor," he says, extending a hand.

Ron looks down at Viktor Krum's offered hand and thinks of shaking it. He looks up at Viktor and can't help his amused smile.

"We've met before," Ron says, taking his hand. 

"Ah, yes," Viktor says. "But I have never been Viktor to you."

They're still clasping hands and Ron notices that Viktor has the callouses expected of a Seeker. Ron pretends neither of them know what they're doing as they both hold on longer than they need to. 

"I thought you were dancing with Fleur's cousins," Ron says, nodding towards the group dancing under the tent.

Viktor follows his gaze and Ron takes the opportunity to study the lines of Viktor's face, the sharp angles of his jawline. His nose could be almost too large for his face, but his eyebrows and the sharp cut of his cheekbones evens it all out. 

Viktor sighs and something about it is familiar to Ron. 

"We were dancing," Viktor says, turning to Ron with a sad smile. "But it all got kind of…"

"...lonely," Ron finishes. 

What else can they say after that?

**ii. into the fray**

Ron loses Hermione in the fray as they run away from Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, Ron with an armful of basilisk fangs and Hermione with the destroyed cup. They have to get to Harry and as Ron's turning, desperate to catch sight of Hermione above the heads of the running people, someone grabs his arm. He turns, wand ready, to see Viktor Krum with a cut above his eyebrow and the start of a black eye. 

"Ron," he says. "Are you all right?"

There's no time. The basilisk fangs clatter against each other as Ron holds them tighter. The grip he has on his wand is almost painful, but this is too important to mess up. He has to get to Harry.

"Have you seen Hermione?" Ron asks.

Viktor nods. "She was by the Grand Staircase," he says.

Ron nods and starts down the steps, hugging the handrail to keep away from the fallen stones that litter half the stairs. He trips over a loose brick, rights himself, and jumps over the rubble at the bottom. 

"Ron Weasley," Viktor calls.

Ron turns, anxious to be on his way. Viktor stands at the top of the ruined staircase, his face half in shadow as the bang of curses rings around them. 

"What?" Ron asks.

It isn't more than a few seconds, as they stand and look at each, as Ron allows himself a moment to memorize the shape of Viktor's jaw, the slope of his shoulders. He allows himself one good look, a single moment where his attraction is vibrant and real. A moment where Ron is just a normal human being who doesn't carry the faith of the Wizarding World in his arms. 

"Be careful," Viktor says.

"You too," Ron says, his smile quick and easy.

Then, he turns back to the running people and heads off to find Hermione and Harry.

**i. the missing pieces**

There are things to do after the Battle of Hogwarts. It is, after all, only the beginning of what's going to be a messy rebuilding, and Harry's going to be the face of that movement. Ron and Hermione, too, to some extent, but for now, the attention is once again on Harry. So Ron allows himself a moment right after all the immediate affairs are in order, and goes back to Hogwarts. 

It's a combination of things, because he wants peace, because Hogwarts is important to Harry and Ron knows it helps him to know that Ron's helping in the rebuilding. Because Fred spent his last hours there, because his mother still comes to their rooms at night and watches to make sure they're all alive. Because now that George's moved into Ron's room, it's harder to hide that Ron's the only one at home who doesn't have nightmares. Because he thinks there must be something wrong with him to be so put together after the war.

For the time being, Ron allows himself the space to wander the castle ruins, to step over the debris and sort through what can be salvaged. The castle is huge and most people are still at home with their families, so Ron doesn't expect to run into anyone. 

And still, it somehow isn't a surprise when Ron comes to a stop at the foot of the library staircase and sees Viktor Krum at the top of the steps. He's wearing loose pants and his gray shirt is already stained with dust. 

"Ron," he says. "What are you doing here?"

Ron thinks of home and the heaviness of existence, of the days when he, Harry, and Hermione walked the Hogwarts halls. He thinks of the Yule Ball and the way Viktor's mouth had looked in the winter lights. He thinks of awkward teenage years and the missing pieces of his life where he should have dated, where he should have loved. He thinks of all the other people who won't get a chance, of Viktor at Fleur's wedding and the sadness on his face when he told Ron he was lonely. 

"I'm running," Ron says, finally, looking out at the crumbling castle walls.

Viktor smiles. "Interesting coincidence," he says. "I am too."

**1\. beginnings**

Ron isn't lonely per se. Not with Viktor's mouth against his, or Viktor's hands in his hair, their bodies learning how they fit together. It's not that Ron misses anything from the life he didn't have. It's more an ache that settles deep in his bones, like the memory of a nasty fall. 

He wouldn't change anything, if he had the chance, because all of his choices led him here, with Viktor's arm around his shoulder as Harry and Hermione laugh at a joke Ron made. But if there was a way, Ron would tell the little boy that he was, that feelings aren't things to be ashamed of, that he should trust in his friends, that he's valued despite what the voices in his head keep telling him. If he could, he'd be kinder to his fourteen-year-old self, to the awkward teenager who thought his freckles and lanky limbs made him ugly. 

It's not loneliness anymore. Probably hasn't been since Ron was old enough to understand the complexities of his parents' choices. It's something kinder now, soft like Viktor's eyes in the morning when he's still tired. Gentle like Harry and Hermione's teasing. 

"Are you all right?" Viktor asks now, pulling Ron from his thoughts.

He turns to Viktor, the smile easy and free, "Yeah," Ron says. "I'm good."


End file.
